Love Interests

After viewing this video from Off the Great Wall (OTGW), the results really bother me.

Do you have a problem dating Asian men/guys? Asian women/girls?

Do you see potential benefits in dating Asian people?

I didn’t expect this to be so long so I’m including headings: “Issues with Asian Guys?”, “Issues with Asian Girls?”, and “Seriously? Issues with Black Girls?”

Issues with Asian Guys?

I agree with Dan, but the important point I want to say here is what he said toward the end of the video.  Some of his Chinese female friends would not date Asian guys, which he found to be problematic and wrong.  He implies that those girls would not date Asian guys not because of lack of attraction.

Discrimination is wrong.  In addition, it sends the message that if Chinese girls refuse to date Chinese guys, then there’s something wrong with Chinese guys.  He lists possible reasons, like Chinese guys aren’t manly enough, they’re nerds, they play video games, etc.

Judge Chinese guys like any guy: individually.  I live with three great Chinese guys!

Some of the problems I have experienced with Chinese men is that they are (too) dominating to the point of abuse and they don’t think it’s abuse, they’re control freaks, they won’t make a decision, they’re cheaters, they’re intolerable, things like these that make it extremely difficult to be in the same city at the same time period – like any another person.

I have evidence!

Dominating to the point of abuse and they don’t think it’s abuse: You’ll hear about the dominating Chinese father (who was dominating while he’s married) and he’s so mean it can be equated to terrorism in the home, aka domestic violence.  He doesn’t always drink but most do because (1) China doesn’t have an age minimum for when one is allowed to consume alcohol, (2) rice wine was created in China, (3) China has a drinking culture for celebrations, so drinking is not taboo.

This domination may have Confucianism playing a role, since in Confucian family hierarchy, fathers are at the top running the household (of course, not all do).  With this, dominating is what it’s supposed to look like, because they’re likely to have seen it with their parents, so it’s not alien to them (which is also where the stereotype of submissive Chinese women came from).

+ Control freaks: The more I think about it, I would put control freaks as a symptom (I can’t think of the correct word at the moment) of dominating men.  Nobody likes a control freak and nobody likes a micro-manager.  Wink wink government.

Won’t make a decision: this is for the passive guys – who are more recently seen – because their moms/parents doing everything for them.  Mom does all the cooking, cleaning, chooses which musical instrument(s) they learn, plus mandatory cram sessions, all the while working her job.  When these guys leave home to go to college, they can’t take care of themselves because they never had to, and mom makes all the decisions for them because kids never get a choice in the matter anyway, because they’re good kids and good kids don’t resist/question mom.

Cheaters: Guys are more prone to cheating because they’re animals (calm down, girls are animals too evidenced by their urges) and they need to spread their seeds to ensure a good harvest.  That’s biological and understandable, but unacceptable by most partners.

Note: I am adapting one man with multiple female sexual partners, married or otherwise, as cheaters in the following paragraphs.

Here’s a general history for you.  Chinese Emperors would only allow eunuchs to enter the palace to ensure that all the children that were sired from his harem were his.  Sound animalistic to you? Primates, lions, kangaroos, lots of animals with great strength practice something similar.  You don’t see peacocks and seahorses fighting for their females, and it’s not because they’re more sophisticated.

In addition, concubinage was widely practiced at certain times in Chinese history, and for certain economic levels, families would intentionally get a concubine so their neighbors don’t think they’re in financial trouble.  Read about the hound dog Hsi-men Ch’ing in The Golden Lotus by Jin Ping Mei (English translation by Clement Egerton, Vol. 1, Vol. 2); watch how it makes women terrible people by having concubinage in the film, Raise the Red Lantern, directed by the super famous Zhang Yimou, and you can read the other two novellas in the collection where this film came from for fun.

I’m bringing religion into the mix to support my point of judging Chinese guys like any guy.

Mormonism: Some Mormons practice polygamy in the U.S. (one husband with multiple wives).  I recall an old man in Texas getting arrested for something and he was the leader of the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) who had like 89 wives.  That gross geezer was in his 70s when he married a 15-year-old girl, which was either the last or one of the last girls he married.  She didn’t want to get married to him but her father followed that asshole’s (or prophet’s) words and gave his daughter to him.  Sex was a forbidden topic there, and she recalled the “sex” was painful, and he had breathing troubles during and/or after his performance on those occasions.

Islam: Some Muslims practice polygamy (again, one husband with multiple wives).  It’s customary for one man to have five wives.

Intolerable: Their personality makes them so insufferable that you can fill the rest yourselves.  (They’re rigid.)  Another perspective of intolerable is they’re not tolerable towards other races or members of the LGBTQ community.  I judge people as individuals, not as groups as most people and surveyors and even scientists are conditioned to do to make it easier on their brains by categorizing and labeling.

Issues with Asian Girls?

According to the video, Asian girls are the most desirable.  That’s great! We’re smokin’ hot, super smart, know how to behave, the list goes on.  But it doesn’t stop girls from other races to embody these same qualities.  I believe that everyone is attractive, everyone has the ability to be smart, and everyone has the ability to behave themselves.

However, the video doesn’t address some of the negative qualities that a lot of those smokin’ hot Asian girls are known for:

  1. High maintenance
  2. Whiny/Bratty
  3. Vindictive
  4. Stuck-up/Snobby

Those qualities make them plain-old selfish bad people.

Seriously? Issues with Black Girls?

The flawed survey found that Black women are the least desirable.  I super disagree.  Of course I’m going to tell you the two reasons why.

Have you ever had a Black woman’s fried chicken? The one who knows how to cook and her signature dish is fried chicken.

I have a nice face (as in you can tell I’m a nice person because of my face).  So when I’m trying to be threatening or imposing or righting a wrong, I’m not taken seriously.  This happens a lot to Asians with young faces and especially those who are tall-deprived with nice faces.  I can use all the vocabulary in my brain to win arguments and to reason and to threaten, and use an assertive voice, but it usually doesn’t work.  They brush me aside and/or laugh at me, ignore me, the signs of not being taken seriously.  So when I transform into an angry Black woman, pulling out “ain’t’s,” “naw’s,” “hellz naw’s,” “uh-uh’s” (with a finger moving side to side), and “all y’all’s,” I usually get my way.  Nobody messes with an angry Black woman.

Morals of this post: Discrimination is not ok and judge people as individuals.

I was writing so much I almost forgot the questions I asked at the start of the post:

Do you have a problem dating Asian men/guys? Asian women/girls?

Do you see potential benefits in dating Asian people?

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Published by

Leanne

I began writing Elle's Adventure in China (EACh) in June 2014 as a fun summer project, but as obstacles kept interfering with my plans, I forked and forked more options. I took writing this novel much more seriously in mid-July, and want to have it officially published someday in my lifetime. As many artists put their hearts into their projects, so do I. I did not start out liking to read, but a professor suggested a book for me for homework a few years ago, and it was an amazing book. Since then, I read for pleasure, and I hope my novel, Elle's Adventure in China, does the same for as many of you as possible. The same thing goes to writing. I did not like to write until I took a course where the professor and papers made me love to write. I hope every one of you find what makes you happy and dedicated to work. In May 2015, I started my other blog, Read and Write Here (R&WH), as a place to post other things that aren't China- and Chinese culture-related and not EACh. I share some of my memories and experiences from student teaching, irregular participation in Daily Prompts, etc. I'd like to have regular people and bloggers to write book reviews and post it on R&WH someday. Keep reading and writing!

3 thoughts on “Love Interests”

  1. I am an Asian, but then Asia is a big continent. China, Japan, India and so many other countries are part of Asia. I am not sure if you mean Asian as Chinese. I am from India.

    Discrimination in any form is unfair and should be given up. Great post, though! I like how much research you put to your posts.

    Like

    1. Thank you for your input Arpita! I agree that Asia is a big continent. According to the video, they were talking about Asian men in general, not specifically Chinese men, and the survey they were responding to was very flawed – done in urban cities in the U.S., which ignores the Asian continent. The people in the video were Chinese, so they could only speak on their experience and opinions as Chinese, not Asians as a whole. The same goes for me; I only read and study, but I’m not Indian or any other Asian nationality, really, nor have I been to any part of Asia physically, so I can’t give anything else other than from my experience and research.
      Thank you so much for your support Arpita!

      Liked by 1 person

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