Some lessons for men.
“She said JZ was back, so you guys better go back to work,” said CeeCee. “You wouldn’t want him to think we’re conspiring against him.”
“Are we seriously not going to talk about this kid’s feelings for the girl?” asked Big.
“Why don’t you come with us for a while,” Bigger said to Shen. “We can teach you a thing or two that only men can teach young men.”
Shen hesitated before talking. “Can I go with them, Mrs. Li?”
Xiao Li nodded her head, and the three guys left.
“I never knew he liked her,” said Deng.
“Me neither,” said Hong.
“I had some inkling that he liked her,” said Hero. “I thought it was strange that someone in here, especially an intern, would write a poem about one of JZ’s girlfriends or whatever she is in their relationship. It was really thoughtful to consider her perspective, something that we all know JZ doesn’t do very well.”
“Except Xiao Li,” CeeCee corrected.
“What are you talking about?” Xiao Li asked suspiciously.
“It’s a good thing,” said CeeCee. “Count yourself lucky.”
“He hit her?” Shen asked in disbelief.
Both The Guys looked at Shen sincerely and nodded their heads.
“I want to hit him! Nobody should hit her! She’s already attacked enough by the public, and she’s attacked in private, too? He doesn’t deserve her,” Shen said strongly.
“That’s one of the things we’re going to talk to you about,” said Bigger. “We’ve been in this country since birth and we’ve seen and heard stuff about husbands hitting their wives. It doesn’t matter which girl you date or marry, you don’t hit them, because they’re physically smaller and weaker than you. It’s an unfair advantage that she has no control over. You want to fight, fight another man.”
“She’s actually quite strong, surprisingly strong for someone so small,” said Shen. “If only you guys were there last night, she lifted one of the interns over her shoulder, like this, and then the other. There’s also a whole bunch of furniture blocking the 36th floor elevator, I assume she moved everything that can be moved. There’s also a rectangular hole in one of her walls where a curved TV used to be. That’s not the point. The point is I would never hit her.”
“Really?” curiously asked The Guys, trying to find out more. “But not hitting girls is not the only thing we’re going to teach you,” said Bigger, returning to reality.
“What else do you have to teach me? Give me everything you got. I really want her now,” he said with fervor. “Before you continue teaching me, how bad is it?” he asked quietly.
“Her hair was always covering it so we don’t actually know. We assume the size of his hand is on the side of her face maybe even her head, since he slapped her and she was knocked out,” answered Bigger. “We’ve been watching all these cameras since he brought her in, but she’s been in rooms that don’t have cameras, and the views in the hallways don’t show it.”
“We only got one picture of her from this morning. Did you get only one?” asked Big.
“That’s the side that he didn’t hit her,” continued Big. “I take it you took a notice at what she was wearing in that picture?”
He nodded again.
“To us guys, she looks irresistible dressed like that, right?” asked Big.
Shen nodded again, his face burning cherry red, and his hands in his pockets, remembering the picture he saw.
“If the girl doesn’t want to dress like that, don’t force her to dress like that. You always want to make her feel better about herself. That’s one of your jobs as a man. Our dad says, if your girl feels good about herself and likes the way she looks, she’ll choose to dress like that for you,” said Big.
“There’s also a really good unintended consequence from her feeling good about herself, if you catch my drift,” Bigger said, widening his eyes and raising his eyebrows so Shen would get the hint.
“I’m afraid I don’t catch your drift,” he said, as if he failed the most important test of his life.
Both Big and Bigger threw their hands up in the air, and looked up at the ceiling as if they were saying a prayer. Bigger said calmly and slowly, “If she’s wearing something like that, what do you expect the both of you to do? You catch my drift now?”
“Maybe I’ll catch your drift if I look at the picture again.”
“NO!” Both Big and Bigger said loudly, preventing something bad from happening. “Just tell him directly,” said Big, and waved his hand in front of Shen’s body and said, “I don’t want all of that in here.”
Bigger sighed. “If she feels good about herself and you make her feel better about herself, and she wears that, it means she wants to make love to you.”
Shen’s face turned to a new shade of red. Shen struggled to speak, “If she’s wearing that today, does it mean she wants to do that with him?”
“What do you think?” asked Big.
“She does,” he answered glumly.
“No, she doesn’t,” Big corrected. “She has handcuffs on her wrists and ankles. Did she look like she wanted to wear that?”
“So, she doesn’t want to do that with him?”
“That’s right. If she doesn’t look like she wants to wear that, it means that he put that on her, which is something we told you never to force a girl to wear.”
Shen nodded his head quickly.
There was a pause. “I want to kiss her,” Shen struggled to say. “I’ve never kissed anyone. First, how do I kiss and second, how do I kiss her so that she never wants me to stop?”
The Guys looked at each other, and Big said, “Those are really good questions. The answer to the first one is, you have to practice. Just like everything you’ve done in school, you have to practice to be good at it. I suggest you practice it on any girl you can.”
“Don’t just do that,” said Bigger. “You have to feel some lust, some passion, something genuine. It’s different when you kiss a girl because you can, and when you kiss a girl because you can’t wait. With practice, you’ll learn that you need to feel confident that you can kiss her well. The answer to the second question is a combination of practice, the way you feel about yourself, the way you feel about the girl, and the way the girl feels about you.”
“But before you can kiss any girl, you need to invest in breath mints. No girl wants to kiss a guy with bad breath. Do you smoke?” asked Big.
“Good. Girls don’t like to kiss guys who smoke,” answered Big.
“Do you know what to do on a date?” asked Bigger.
“Order for the both of us and talk.”
“You have to open doors and pull out chairs for her, too, like a gentleman,” said Bigger.
“Oh look! I think he’s taking her to lunch. We should go, too. We can teach you in the field,” said Big, pointing at the monitors that showed JZ carrying Elle in his arms down the hallway.
“I don’t think I should,” Shen said nervously.
“Why?” asked The Guys.
“Because I’ll get really excited, if you catch my drift. Practically both her…um…you know, are showing, and there’s a drum beating inside me.”
The Guys laughed. “It’s cute that he thinks that’s almost everything!” Big said with hearty laughter.
A couple of minutes later, both of them regained their composure, and Bigger informed Shen, “Here’s a secret. Those are only the top half.”
“ONLY HALF?!” Shen said loudly in shock and sped out of the security room.